Elie's Poetry Corner

Fear wraps its tentacles around my heart. Fear of not doing enough... not being enough... Even tighter, till my breath is gone and I cannot move. It holds me, its captive. "Fight the deadly serpent," part of me insists. "Do not let this evil win." but the fear is too strong. "I will never let you go!" it cries. "When you want to open up, I'll be there... waiting. I grow stronger when you falter. I rejoice in your mistakes. I will always prevent you from pursuing your dreams. I will always oppose you, you can never defeat me. For I am you!" Again it squeezes to prove its power over me. I shudder and shrink into myself. No one else can see this demon... my fear. "Stop." they tell me. "It's silly to be scared." I know. There is nothing, waiting in the shadows. No dragon lies in wait beyond these walls, the walls I constructed to protect myself the walls I refuse to tear down, immobilized by fe...

I didn't want to face losing you... even though I understood that nothing lasts forever. I didn't want to wake up one day to find that you were gone, out of my life forever. I didn't want to stop hearing your laugh or seeing you smile that sweet crooked smile. I didn't want to stop talking to you and hearing your reply... how I miss your advice. I never thought about how lonely my life would be without you... until you were gone. No matter how long it's been... I can still hear your voice, even though I won't ever again. Memories play like movies in my mind. The time we spent together. I cherish every minute I took for granted then. How I wish I could go back. I knew that it would happen. I knew that you would go. I just didn't want to face it. I told myself, that I would be okay. I told myself you were in a better place. It would have been selfish to make you stay. You were in pain I know. I'm sorry for a...

When someone asks you "how's your day" you say: "Everything's okay." even when you're lying. ... Even when you want to cry you smile at them and meet their eyes. You never, ever, ever say "I need a hug, I need a friend." or: "The pain I feel's too much to bear. I could give up, I'm almost there." They smile and nod and say the same. It's all a part of this little game. They don't tell you: "My dad's in jail and I don't think we'll afford the bail. My house is messy, my job's a bust but I keep going, because I must." And you never know just what's inside, just what that painted on smile can hide even though you do the same.

crying on the inside, turmoil. fear. doubt. dying on the inside weary. sleepless. night. Every day a battle. fighting. for my. life. Every night a struggle. will this. never. end? Too much pain around me. the pain. I see. I feel. If only I could help them. I want. my hands. to heal. For all the good it does me, I bow. my head. to pray. But there is no answer. No one's. listening. anyway.

Time goes on, as if it didn't know For me it's still. If not, it's moving slow. All these smiles, they stab me like a knife and no one knows -- how cruel is this life. I have no grave to visit, nor ashes to spread. I don't even know how long you've been dead. Can I choose to say it isn't so Can I block it out, as if I didn't know? If I could hold a paper in my hand, would I accept it then, would I understand? How did I let the years go by -- without picking up the phone just to say hi? Now simply because I didn't try I'll never even get to say goodbye. Do I even have the right to grieve? Am I allowed redemption or reprieve? Always too busy with my life to hear Always too tired, too stressed to lend an ear. The earth still spins and we have dawn even without you -- cruel life marches on.

Pressed between two pages, in a book upon a shelf. He seeks to hide your beauty, and keep it to himself. He plucked you from your garden, from everything you knew. He trimmed away the childhood friends, along whose sides you grew. He showered you with kindness, and fertilized your hope... before he banished you to darkness, with which you couldn't cope. He knows that you will wither, he knows that you will die. He knows that you cannot escape, because you'll never try. He's warned you of the dangers, that in the world await if ever you decide to roam, beyond his garden gate. You had thorns to protect you, but he wore a glove. He said you didn't need them, because you had his love. He'll let you live in misery, then put you on display He thinks that he's a potter, and you're a piece of clay. You envy things that aren't alive, because they cannot feel. Think maybe it's a nightmare, that none of it is real. You try hard to remember, y...

I know your self-esteem is tangled with his love that's how he knows, no matter what, it'll never be enough... to make you leave. I know you cry at night, and think you're all alone you're praying for a sign, and he throws you a bone so you won't leave. I know you hide the bruise, explain away the scar you never will admit, that he has gone too far and you don't leave. You think that he is broken, and you alone can heal explain away his drinking, it's his only way to deal but you don't leave. I heard last night you left, took all that you could take too bad you're in a sleep, from which you'll never wake.