Unrequited

You hide within the corners of my mind
and when I fall asleep it's you I find.
You break into my safest hiding place
and in my dreams I lie in your embrace.
But then I wake to find it isn't true
And once again, my heart is crushed anew

When you are near, my heart drops to my knees
My mind is gone and soon my reason flees.
My lips they tremble and quake
My knees knock and my body shakes.

There is a paradox about your smile,
so full both of innocence and guile.
Most times I read people pretty well,
but when it comes to you, I cannot tell.

I dance around and proudly strut my stuff
just like a bird's bright feathers pomp and puff.
But what do I when e're you look my way?
I blush and shake my head and look away.

My head swims with panic, fear and doubt
And all my insecurities, they shout.
There is no way amazing you could be
even slightly int'rested in me.
So if you get too close to me I pray
that if I close my eyes, you'll go away.
And soon enough you're off across the room
but then I am enveloped by this gloom.

I know not just why I act this way.
Do I want you close or far away?
Am I glad in secret that you're far
Do I look upon you like a star,
Something that I never can quite reach
No matter how I beg, beguile, beseech?

I know that I should overcome this daze
which holds intellect and reason in a haze.
I know that I should end my misery
and ask you what you really think of me.
But cowardice is holding me at bay
and just what I'm afraid of, I can't say.
Do I fear that you will hurt my pride,
shatter all the hope that's left inside?
Or do I fear that you will love confess
and our lips will tight, together press?

Do I fear the pain of love that's spurned
Or do I fear my whole life getting churned?
Long ago I knew another man
with him I had a family and a plan.
But my heart and mind are so confused
how can I feel the way I do for two?
How can I love the one that's left behind
when you invade the corners of my mind?

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